Week 5: December 15, 2002

Production status:

• Now that we've opened, I can reminisce about some of the challenges leading up to Opening Night. Let's start with auditions. Keep in mind that "The Sopranos" is filmed in the area. So guess how many mafioso wannabes we saw for the role of the store detective? One of them even slugged Kurt in the arm during the reading. Ah, what would we do without Method actors?

Other audition highlights:

• The actor we have fondly nicknamed "Vinnie Claus" in honor of his interpretation of Saint Nick as a small-time hoodlum;
• The actress who gave a Valley Girl version of the wise-cracking female reporter; and
• The actor who, when asked to read a scene without the British accent, said "What accent?"
• Audiences are small but receptive. There is at least one person who cries at each performance. Since this is a comedy, you might think this is a bad thing. But if you saw the show in Dallas, you know that it has a very sweet, Christmas-y ending, fully deserving of a tear or two!
• Advance ticket sales are slow. This week there was a bomb scare in Union Square (where the theatre is located), which discouraged attendance for a day or two. And now the threat of the transit strike has everyone hunkering down to see what happens. You can tell it's bad when Broadways shows are offering $5 tickets through Audience Extras.
• Got our first review, this one from American Theatre. They praised the physical presentation as "mesmerizing" and gave kudos to several actors for their "clever performances" , including Kurt as Harry; Raymond as a "Jackie Gleason-esque" Lt. Foster; and two of the NY actors. In the end, they thought the play was "good-natured" but frivolous. I'm not sure that's a bad thing. And the audiences don't seem to mind a little frivolity in their lives!
• Not sure if we're going to get any of the major papers to review the show. The most likely possibility is the NY Times, since they provide the most space for theatre reviews. Unfortunately for us, so many shows have opened recently that the Times is backed up and can't give us a date when they'll be sending a reviewer. Our publicist is working on it, so we'll see what happens.

NY observations this week:

• Saw my first subway rat the other day. Priceless.
• One improvement over the years in NY is the availability of iced tea. Our friend Craig was once told iced tea was "out of season" in September, so he ordered hot tea and a glass of ice, a la Jack Nicholson's toast order in "Five Easy Pieces." Today you can order iced tea year round in NY, although the refills aren't always free. Civilization comes one step at a time.
• Celebrity sightings so far: Bob Balaban, Jackie Mason, Jon Bon-Jovi, and Vanessa Williams.
• More from the city of contrasts: My mother came to see the show this weekend, and on the subway ride to the theatre, a young gangsta wannabe offered her his seat. After the show, as we were walking to the subway to head home, we saw a nicely dressed man urinating on the side of a building.
• Remember the radiators I mentioned in a previous report? Turns out they provide a dry heat, which insidiously sucks out all the moisture from your body. Our usage of Chapstick and hand lotion has increased dramatically.

A New York quiz:

• Q: What does it mean if you see a subway car approaching and everyone inside is standing instead of sitting?
• A: Some kind soul has managed to vomit on every single seat in the car. Or perhaps they walked through the car carefully ladling puke onto every seat. We had to admire the thoroughness of the effort.

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